Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

The sadness was still there.

The Best Dinner to Help You Poop in the A.M., According to a Dietitian - EatingWell

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

David Beckham scores a winner with the royal circle - BBC

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

The 1975's Matty Healy Says 'We Don't Need More Politics' at Glastonbury - Variety

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Target and Walmart tariff price hikes leak online from an unlikely source - Mashable

It’s still here.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What destroys relationships between actors in Hollywood?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

'Club World Ca$h Grab': Players don protest shirts at pregame - Sounder at Heart

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

And the sadness?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Roseanne Barr says baby she gave up for adoption as a teen thought she was Goldie Hawn - Entertainment Weekly

I was tired of fighting.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s here now, writing to you.

How do I maintain and care for granite countertops in a coastal climate like Pompano Beach?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

Slash your biological age by up to 16 years by doing this one thing during your daily walk — new study says - Tom's Guide

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I had run out of hope.